Crustacean

 

{Artwork by Bria Williams}

         

            I rinsed the blood from my fingernails, being cautious of the blisters covering my aged hands. I glanced up from the sink to the mirror hanging above. Looking at myself wasn't what it was like 30 years ago. My dark black hair had turned gray like the wolf I occasionally spotted on my lawn. My olive skin drooped from my gaunt cheeks like the curtain’s that hung from my living room window. My green eyes that were once so agile were now clouded with all the evil I had witnessed. Where did the years go?

            I drank my coffee and slipped my boots back on then left through the back door. I entered my truck, which like myself looked a hell of a lot better 30 years ago. I drove seven miles down an icy road to a place I knew very well. “Uncle Joe’s” wasn’t much, but it was the only place you could get a drink and God knows I needed one. Staring through my Ford’s fogged window, I watched snow falling onto “Uncle Joe’s” decrepit sign as drunk men left; stumbling into their trucks. I too would’ve gotten out of my truck, treaded through the snow, sat down and drank my age in beers. It was a cycle; every day the same. Wake up, go to the docks, lower my cage into the half frozen sea, hoist it back up, repeat, go home, wash my hands, and drink just so I could do it all again tomorrow. As I sat in my car all I could do is think about those lobsters I caught every day. My life was no different than theirs. I was the lobster, robbed of everything he knew. Robbed by life. Robbed by the man. Robbed of free will. What happened to me? I used to be so young! So full of ambition! I used to have dreams! I used to have passion! I used to have romance! But now all I have is “Uncle Joe’s.”

            I Left “Uncle Joe’s” and headed to where I knew I would end up. I took a shotgun and a half-frozen lawn chair out of the back of my pickup and walked them down to the end of the dock. I rustled with that damn frozen chair until it finally sprang open. I sat down and softly laid the loaded shotgun down into my lap. I looked deep into the snow-flurried abyss, not being able to see where the ocean and the sky met, and I listened. I was waiting for a scream, a rustle, a jump, something, anything! But. Nothing. I heard nothing. I opened my mouth and listened hoping to hear something, anything! But. Nothing. Nothing came out. So then if nothing would come out I would force it. I closed my eyes. I felt my hair turn back to black and my skin draw back into place. The fog clouding my vision was gone! I opened my mouth to sing for everyone to hear!

*click*